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            Coming To Rest
               
              
            1. The  Name 
             
            Because she'd not bury 
            the name with the dead child, 
            she made her surviving five children 
            swear they'd pass it on 
            to the first daughter born to them. 
             
            Another name for letting go. 
            Or holding on. 
             
            Another name for home. 
             
             
            2. Birthday Ghazal 
                                 
              
            Why this old Persian form for today, of all days? 
            Why not sonnet or blank verse to help me take hold?                
              
             
            Down to the wire goes the season's gold, 
            late this year, so long it took to take hold. 
             
            I don't care that my days tumble down 
            to the compost pile. I want to look, to take hold. 
             
            Seize the day. Carpe Diem, if you like. 
            Bite down hard on the hook and take hold. 
             
            Down the creek float the leavings of what I once was. 
            Just a girl. Mostly waiting for luck to take hold. 
             
            Last night rain kept the roof busy scolding 
            me, wake up, you dumb cluck, and take hold. 
             
            I've already  answered my e-mail, my voice 
            mail, my snail mail. My real work? To take hold. 
             
            Kathryn died too young. Age twelve. Now she tolls 
            in the dust of my name: to come back, to take hold. 
             
             
            3. Sinking 
             
            The aunt I was named after died too young. 
            She sank at age twelve 
            into diabetic pneumonia. Then coma, 
             
            too pretty a word for her dying. Why cling 
            to another old form like this no-holds- 
            barred song for my  aunt who died too young 
             
            to care about romance? What good is a song 
            now, to her?  Or to me? Maybe I've grown too old 
            for such artifice, as if I'm trapped in a coma 
             
            of middle-aged dullness. My tongue 
            slips on names. But not hers. But why dwell 
            on her death? So she died, much too young, 
             
            not at all like an angel who could do no wrong, 
            not at all blonde & pretty as I had been told. 
            When she sank into that final coma, 
             
            she must have looked ugly. I can't make this   
            villanelle sing, no matter what I've been told 
            about Kathryn, who died too young, 
            years before insulin, of diabetic pneumonia. 
             
             
            4. Stuck 
             
            She smoothes her skirt and squints at me. 
            I don't know what to say. Or why she's come. 
            The clock's stopped ticking on the wall. Back home 
            again, she sees what I see, same old creek 
            reflecting nothing but a sky where trees 
            fish with their lines of moss all day. Let's thumb 
            a ride to town, she dares. Let's make the phone lines hum 
            above these droughty fields. Now that I'm free 
             
            I'm getting out of here. She says she wants to hear 
            the latest gossip, wants to have a little fun. 
            She tells me everything that hangs around 
            too long gets stuck. I nod. I don't dare 
            ask her why she's here, this dust I've stirred from 
            sleep. This shell of light. This sullen hologram. 
             
             
            5.  Free 
             
            This nameless creek 
            almost obscured by shade 
            where she was last seen 
            by the camera lens 
            keeps rushing through me 
            as she hikes her skirt 
            and stands wanting to be 
            brave enough to walk 
            into the current, 
            sickly girl whose cropped 
            hair won't blow 
            in the summer 
            wind, too short, 
            too short, she cries, 
            coming to rest 
            in the photograph. 
             
              
              
            Again     
             
             
            I lie down in her sea bed that bears 
            me back home to the nothing left 
            after her house burned around it. 
             
            Her lavender handkerchief knotted 
            round nickels and dimes. On her dresser 
            a brooch in the shape of a peacock's tail. 
             
            Organdy curtains that breathed in 
            and out when she opened the windows 
            for March to blow through like a lioness 
             
            stalking the boxwoods or a lamb bleating 
            out by the pump house. Her hairpins 
            sown over the rugs. Her voluminous apron. 
             
            Her false teeth that grinned 
            every night from a tall iced-tea glass 
            as she pulled off her house dress, 
             
            her shimmy, her bloomers 
            that even now swell like a mainsail with 
            nothingness. Lorna Doone shortbread 
             
            she nibbled till she fell asleep, leaving crumbs 
            in the bed sheets like sand from the white beach 
            at  Panama City whenever I crawled into bed 
             
            with her body that smelled of the ocean 
            at low tide and tasted of salt 
            when she pulled me too close to her. 
             
              
              
            Shadow Sister
                
             
             
            Sometimes I still see you 
            haunting the thickets around every 
            stubble field. You swing the rusty gate open, 
            then you swing it shut. In the after-dust 
            you scrawl your hop-scotch and dare me 
            to leap over cow pies and cockle burrs. 
             
            Trapped In your eyes I see Sherman 
            march through here all over again. 
            I see smoke rising out of the cornfields 
            while you, having only a poor piece of dishcloth 
            to beat against those flames, 
            keep stamping them out with your bare feet. 
             
            No wonder you love to say 
            you are Miss Scarlett right down 
            to the bone, when you aren't being Orchid 
            or Jasmine from way back, 
            a belle who loves picking her way 
            through a wasteland of snake-nettle. 
             
            Sometimes I still want what you want, 
            the keys to a red-hot convertible, 
            top down and who the hell cares 
            if a hard rain comes, 
            we're headed north, east, 
            west, we are out of here, girl. 
             
            But it's too late. 
            I see what you are. A long drought, 
            the kind I have known more 
            than one farmer's daughter to curse, 
            shake her fist at, 
            for all the good that ever does her.
        
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